The Real Housewives of Orange County: Season 16 Cast Ranked!
PHOTOS: Bravo
After last year's pandemic affected season Bravo tried to course correct by bringing back Heather and her hotel of a home. However, all that did was prove this show can't work without a cohesive group, no matter how many Chanel bags and private planes you throw into the mix. Season 16 has been dubbed a "transitional year" but with the current lineup we are better off to cancel this lacklustre franchise and ship Shannon off to a "Legacy-style" spinoff with Vicki, Tamra, Kelly and all the other ghosts of OC's past. Check out our cast ranking below:
6. Jen Armstrong
Between fighting with her shirtless husband and repeating everything that came out of Heather's mouth, Dr. Jen's freshman season was a flop. Her beef with Noella failed to get off the ground and she spent most of her time crying about her husband who has less personality than he does shirts. Maybe if she'd let loose and had fun she would've been higher up on this list but instead she camped out in Heather's bleached anus for 17 episodes. At the end of the day, Jen isn't interesting which is one of the only qualities necessary when being a Housewife.
5. Gina Kirschenheiter
How the fuck are Gina and Emily still on this show? In their four year run I can't think of one mildly iconic moment they have between them, and no, Gina scream crying about "TOT" is not one of them. While it's fantastic she's no longer sobbing in a sad Amanda Bynes wig, seeing Gina finally live a happy life doesn't mean she's a good Housewife. Let's be real, once you build a nest inside Heather Dubrow's asshole and start hawking bullshit skincare products, it's time to hand in your orange and go back to your townhouse. There's nothing left to see here.
4. Emily Simpson
This season Emily picked up her spoon and started stirring the minimal amount of shit this group had to offer and while I appreciate her effort, she's no Tamra Judge. Emily also tried to be "the funny one" but considering her only material consisted of talking about her vagina and falling over, she didn't succeed at that either. All her desperate attempts to try and make herself entertaining have been sad, cringeworthy and worst of all, boring. Emily has tried to be the pot stirrer, the comic relief and even attempted to make her little bitch of a husband into a thing, however, much like "fetch" Emily's career as a successful Housewife is never going to happen.
3. Heather Dubrow
Heather has all the qualities you need to be a great Housewife but she knows the game too well. While I appreciate her designer labels, champagne addiction and oversized mausoleum of a home, her only authentic moment was telling Noella to shut up. Heather is more self produced than a SoundCloud rapper and the only reason she came back was to launch her own boring spinoff; planting on a fake smile and controlling her fleet of boring minions was just par for the course.
This show is nothing more than a PR opportunity to Fancy Pants which is the exact reason she was let go the first time. I don't love Heather and I don't hate her but you need a lot more than Fendi bags to save this sinking ship. To be honest, I'm just surprised she doesn't have raging haemorrhoids from the amount of adult women she has crammed inside her ass.
2. Shannon Beador
For the first time in a long time we finally got to see Fun Shannon, not the hand shaking caricature that she morphed in to. When Shannon Beador is the only cast member willing to have fun, you know you're in trouble. She kicked off the season stepping in a pile of Terry Dubrow sized shit. However, once that saga was over Shannon mostly kept to herself while the other women took turns yelling at her for making a joke about having fun. Is this really what OC has come to? Who knew the only way to make Shannon, the Eeyore of Orange County, likeable again would be to bring back the Cruella de Vil of the Orange County, Heather Dubrow.
1. Noella Bergener
Whether she was serving LEWKS, accusing Heather of workplace assault or bragging about her pussy stack, Noella came to play this season. Is she annoying? Absolutely. But she was the only person willing to live up to their job description and it's a shame nobody wanted to hit the ball back or film with her. Heather's reign of terror and Noella's own melodramatic antics forced her to spend her freshman season on an island, which is a tricky place to be. Noella has what it takes to be an amazing Housewife but there's no way this chaotic queen can flourish in a cast of women who are more stale than week old bread.
Do you agree with our ranking? Sound off in the comments below!
The Real Housewives of Orange County airs Wednesday at 9/8c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our exclusive tea and shady recaps on the first ladies of Bravo.
